Broken

Life After Abuse
(part of Lost Childhood series)



We all carry around parts of our past that no matter how hard we try to hide them they always find a way of coming to the surface. These scars are part of us. They don't go away just because we push the pain deep down inside. For some these emotional scars find ways of physically manifesting as over time we try to deny them any other outlet. And in the end we end up suffering from a cycle of torment we never wanted in the first place.

This is not the story of the abuse we suffered. It is not just accounts of what happened or why we think it happened to us. This is the story of what it is like living after the abuse itself has ended. These are our scars.

In reading this we ask that you, if you don't have the same scars, try only to understand why this subject is covered here at Alder's Ledge.

Misfits

For nearly a decade now the team at Alder's Ledge has worked with team members that have come from every walk of life imaginable. We have had every profession we could think of represented on our staff at one point in time or another. Most of us aren't of the same religious or cultural background. And most of us wouldn't have ever really become friends if it wasn't for one thing we all tend to have in common...

Scars. 

The team members that have stayed with the team the longest are often the biggest misfits amongst us, myself included. We all come from backgrounds that often make our passion for this work rather strong and fiery. Between our scars and our passions, we really aren't fit for other lines of work anyhow. Yet for all we have in common there are these scars that often makes it difficult at times for us to get along. And at other times it's those same scars that bind us together.

Over the past month this part of our mismatched team has brought every still bleeding wound right back to the surface. Things outside our control ripped open the scabs we so viciously protect and left us once again vulnerable and exposed. And for the first time, for most of us, this was a chance to see what we all try to hide... the shame, the pain, the nightmares, the fear, this sense of being broken. 

Abandonment

When I first saw my beloved sister's eyes open for the first time since the attack I saw the same look I had in mine all those years when I was little. A look of pleading for someone to help. A look of pleading for someone to just be there. A look of fear that nobody would stay beside her as she fought for every last breath. It didn't matter that I was halfway around the world or that she wasn't my actual flesh and blood. I knew then that every waking moment would be spent making sure that look in her eyes, that fear, would fade away.

Over the years we had shared so much of our scars that I knew in that moment what was going through her mind. I knew that she had woken up far too many times with that look masking her beautiful eyes. I knew that in that mind were memories of years spent locked in a room after being beat nearly to death. I knew that those sights, those smells, that pain... all of those were flooding her mind as she gasped for air.

Every time I had woke up I knew felt it. I felt that rush of relief that at very least I was still alive. And yet with each breath there was a sense of fear that it wasn't over. A sense of fear that I was still fighting for life and no one could help me.

Offering words, since I could not physically touch her, I looked into the screen and fought back every tear. All I wanted was to take away that fear of being abandoned. All I wanted was to say that everything was going to be okay. But if you have been in that place before then you know that words don't dull the fear. The only thing that fades it to at very least a tolerable level is the fact that somebody is there. So all I could do was be there. There wasn't any fixing this. There wasn't any way of stopping the memories. There wasn't anyway to heal the wounds that time itself couldn't even keep from reopening.

No matter how long it has been since the abuse ended there will always be these lingering senses of fear. For some it is that of being abandoned. That was our shared fear. We had been left alone to lick our own wounds for years. And though we often felt like we had grown strong enough to do just that, we had this fear constantly.

Abandonment breeds in the mind more fears as time goes on. It brings to the surface ideas that we are somehow unlovable and unworthy of affection. It places in our minds this idea that we deserved the punishment of being abandoned by those who once claimed to love us. In time it makes us believe that we were the reason for our own abuse and neglect. Because in the time that it was first planted we weren't able to rationalize why it was happening. We weren't capable of understanding why we were being treated as though we were worthless or undesirable.

For me the sense of being abandoned bred a sense of worthlessness. For my sister it bred more so a sense of being unlovable. For both of us it created a barrier from behind which we hid from everyone else. Like the lepers of the Bible, we used it to tell the world that we were unclean in one way or another... that we couldn't be loved and there was no reason for anyone to try.

It is a scar that opens and closes without warning. When someone who has this wound lets another person come close to them they are risking having that scar ripped back open. This risk is never far from the mind of us who have it. Letting people close means living with this fear every moment that we are with that person. The fear that they will discover just how unworthy of their affection we truly are is always in the backs of our mind. And time doesn't heal this scar, it only magnifies it.

To live with it, both her and I alike, have had to accept that we are worthy of love. Though that fear will always linger, we had to accept that it wasn't rational. We had to finally understand that we didn't deserve what had happened to us in the past. That at some point those sins committed against us were not our fault. And that the people who hurt us may not deserve our forgiveness but they needed it so that their memory couldn't continue to kill us.

Guilt 

Once the reality of what had happened began to set in it was inevitable that she began to place the blame for her own attack not on her assailants but on herself. My sister had been viciously assaulted to the point of barely surviving it. Yet the scars that were left from a lifetime of abuse didn't register the events the same way the rest of the world would had. Instead of seeing the attack as unprovoked barbarism, her past assigned blame the same way she had been trained to through years of abuse. This was the scar that guilt leaves behind upon the victim.

There is no rational reason for why we do this. We find in the end that we need to blame someone for what has happened. And when there isn't a real reason for it, we find the first person we can to blame... ourselves. 

Just as with the fear of abandonment, this sense of guilt comes from believing that somehow we deserved what happened. For me it was an easy conclusion to come to since the abuse I suffered was often given the prefix of punishment. I could easily assume that I had done something to provoke such a violent response. Yet for my sister the abuse she had suffered was inflicted by men who had purchased the "right" to inflict these scars. And yet she had come to the same conclusion that somehow, in some way, she was responsible for the abuse she was made to suffer. 

Living with guilt is impossible over time. Once the abuse ends the guilt still remains. It is a corrosive emotion that slowly etches away every relationship we develop along the way. The only way to end it's destructive nature in our lives is to deal with the events that had led to the inflicting of this scar in the first place. 

For me this was something I had long felt was impossible. Instead of dealing with those memories I had pushed them down till they finally exploded. And when they came to the surface they came back with a vengeance. Memories that could be fought back while I was awake manifested into nightmares. And nightmares became the embodiment of that room where I had felt like a caged animal. Trapped inside my head, I had to face those memories over and over again. 

For my sister those memories came rushing back when anyone would dare to touch her in anyway that resembled intimacy. Every touch was like playing a game of dice between the responses of fight, flight, or freeze. Memories of what had happened to her replaced the responses of love or compassion that would had fit those moments. The reaction of fear, fear of being hurt again, pushed back against even the most sincere of gestures. It was a fear that isolated her over the years and left her trapped in much the same way she had been during the abuse itself. 

It was through talking to each other over the years that we both realized that we had to face what was done to us. We had to turn and fight our own past. All this running was only making us relive the abuse as we pushed away those who cared about us. And though we still are battling our own demons, in facing those memories we have at the very least learned from each other what trust feels like again. 

Yet the only way we have gotten to the point where we can even start to deal with these scars was with the admission that none of this was our fault. Guilt was like a chain that kept us bound to these memories. And it created even more scars the longer we lived with it.

Shame And Silence

Tears don't wash away the shame you feel when you bare these scars. The more you cry the more it feels like these scars grow deeper. This only continues till you reach a point where there aren't any more tears to shed and there isn't a cry left to be heard. Silence becomes your only friend as you try to hide your scars from everyone around you. 

Isolation becomes normal as guilt leaves you afraid that others will see what happened to you. Your mind warps that guilt into a state where you honestly start to believe that everyone else will blame you too. So the only real option you see at that point is to either withdraw and hide or become so outgoing that the obnoxiousness of it all drives others away. There really isn't much of a middle ground here.

When we did finally start talking, after so many years of isolating that part of our lives from others, the first question people ask is damning to us. 

"Why didn't you say something..."

It doesn't matter what the intentions behind that question really are... if there is actual concern or not doesn't make it past our defenses. That question makes every bit of shame we have felt for all that time come rushing over us like a tidal wave. The spirit that we have been working at mending, repairing, and holding together is broken with just one question. The strength it took to speak up is suddenly drained. It won't matter what follows next. That one question knocks the breath right out of us. 

Shame has a way of creating a defense that words can't penetrate. As long as we have not dealt with the guilt we have felt, we inevitably end up building those defenses. And once those go up; the longer they stay up, the harder it is to take them down.

I've never met anyone who suffered abuse that felt truly comfortable talking about it. Even those who suffered the same way I did don't always feel they can relate to my story. And I honestly don't always feel I can relate to theirs. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that much of this comes from the damage we suffered when it comes to trust. Even if the other person's story matches our own, we still feel that they will judge us. This is where guilt was left to turn to a lingering sense of shame. 

This scar is also why our stories in their entirety will not be shared. Speaking about these things takes time and trust for those who suffered abuse. For those who love and care about them there isn't much you can do to get those details out of them. If you truly care for them then all you can do is wait and offer them every reassurance that you won't judge them. But most importantly, you must always remember that just because they are holding back doesn't mean that they don't trust you.... it means those scars go deeper than you ever will really understand. 

Silence in the end can be far more dangerous to those of you have suffered any form of abuse. The longer you have to deal with those emotions, those memories, that indescribable pain... the longer you remain isolated then the longer you run the risk of depression and all that goes with it. We as a species aren't solitary animals. We need to speak, we need to share, with others that which is hurting us. We need the comfort of others. And even when the pain has taught us to withdraw... that is when we need it most. 

A Broken Spirit 

& 

Putting It Back Together

It would be nice if I could give a list of things to do to heal those scars and take away this broken feeling we try to hide. It would be nice to say that there was a quick way to end the pain that didn't only cause you more problems. But the fact is that there isn't anyway you can just bottle up those emotions and walk away from the feelings that will forever linger in the back of your mind. However, there are ways to live with them. There are ways to deal with this brokenness so that you can feel whole again. 

For my sister and I it began with talking to those who love us. We started with each other and those closest to us. Through the tears, the fear, and the reliving of those parts of our lives we found our way forward. The feeling that part of our soul was still broken didn't go away. There is always a part of us that doesn't feel normal... doesn't feel like we are all better and everything is sunshine and rainbows. But we started to heal the scars and put back what was taken from us. 

My sister's sense of insecurity was restored through our little family here at Alder's Ledge. Relationships that will last longer than this blog will helped her feel that there was at least someone that could love her for who she was... that could love her no matter what she had been through. The vulnerability that came with this wasn't easy to adjust to. Those scars had provided her with a sense of false security and now the healing of them left her exposed. It was only through out persistent reassurances that she felt like this healing process was worth the pain that came with it. 

As for me... my healing came through faith, family, and therapy. As much as I have always said that I would never turn to that last one, I did. The pain of what I had been through, the pain I was living with, was driving me crazy whether I wanted to admit it or not. Thoughts of life beyond that pain were terrifying because for so much of my life it was what I knew. Yet those first two led me to the later choice. I couldn't live with the torment that was hidden in my soul... my broken spirit was bleeding me out. 

We can't tell anyone that there is a set path forward. We have watched over this past year as a close friend lost his battle with the scars he had lived with. As a group we buried a friend who fell to the same fight we all have struggled with. We knew that day that we all might be fighting different battles but the scars are the same. And the result of surrender in this fight could just as easily be the same if we didn't call out for help. 

Life after abuse isn't easy. Some people will and can bare the pain till the day they die. And it might very well be a "natural death", but the soul was broken long ago. As long as the pain isn't dealt with you will always feel that pain creeping around in the back of your mind and lingering in your heart. 

The only thing we can say to finish this post is that if you are struggling with issues related to abuse you have suffered... please seek out help. 

Counseling and therapy may be the first step. Perhaps a religious organization would work for you better than a therapist. But whatever the case, please talk to someone. Those thoughts and feelings that come with the scars that abuse leaves behind don't heal themselves. They fester deep inside till something triggers them and brings them back to the surface. And when they do there is often the immediate response of fight, flight, or freeze... none of which will be pleasant. 

Don't wait. 

Don't bury those scars.

If you have suffered abuse.... 

Scream.

Guilt Free Chocolate

Avoiding Chocolate Made With Child Labor
(part of the Lost Childhood series)

(70% Of World's Cocoa Produced With Child Labor)

As your child (and most likely you too) set out to enjoy this Halloween's bounty of chocolate laden treats there is a very important question that needs to be answered... Where did that chocolate come from?

West Africa produces just over 70 percent of the world's supply of cocoa. Each of the countries that produces this cocoa allow the use of child labor on their vast cocoa farms. The largest producer of these five countries, Ivory Coast, also permits and often encourages the use of forced labor (slavery). All are known to have large human trafficking rings active within their borders supplying children to work the fields of the sprawling cocoa plantations. 

This is where your Halloween chocolate comes from. 

Trafficking And Chocolate 

The children who are sent to the fields to collect the cocoa are not always victims of trafficking. Yet as the demand for cheaper chocolate goes up the number of children being trafficked into the slave trade goes up too. These children, often purchased or bribed into slavery, are subjected to physical, mental, and sexual abuses in an effort to force them into submission. The goal of the trafficker is to break the spirit of the child so that the chances of a runaway becomes minimal. 

Children who are trafficked in Western Africa can be used for many things throughout their life as slaves. Some will be used as child soldiers in times of conflict. Others can become victims of sexual violence and abuse. The use of children as sex slaves is a growing problem across the globe as "sex tourism" becomes an ever increasingly lucrative trade. Yet despite these more notable abuses, most children trafficked in West Africa will be used at some point as child labor. This allows the trafficker the ability to make a reliable income off their slaves while waiting for other higher earning jobs to come along. 

This horrific reality is one that children who are trafficked in West Africa face. They have no say in where they are forced to work or what abusive task they will be forced to perform. From the moment they wake up in the morning to the moment they are allowed to go to sleep they are forced to work in one way or another. There is no rest for these children. With each passing day the hope of freedom is ground out of them as they are degraded and abused at the whim of their owner.

It is modern day slavery.

Chocolate comes into the picture as trafficked children are "employed" on West Africa's vast cocoa plantations. These large operations (many of which are supported by chocolate giants like Hersey's) willingly and knowingly pay the traffickers as the children take to their fields. The use of slave labor allows these farms to increase their yields in multiple ways; including inhumane treatment of forced laborers, longer hours, more strenuous tasks performed, and little to no time for rest between heavy tasks.

The children who work on these plantations are subjected to physical abuse for even the most minor infringements or accidents. If injured while performing dangerous tasks the children are expected to continue working. If an accident includes a life threatening injury the child is given the most minimal treatment and then beaten before being sent back to work. Mercy is not commonly shown to these children. 

Avoiding Chocolate Produced With Child Labor

When buying chocolate this holiday season there are multiple ways to insure that you are buying chocolate that was not made with cocoa produced with child labor (or slave labor). Though the first way is rather simple really, just don't buy chocolate. But for most this way is just too difficult since we have a horrible addiction to the sweet sensations chocolate produces in our mind and mouth. So ignoring the obvious solution of avoidance... here are a few ways you can have a guilt free chocolate fix. 

 

 Fair Trade

This route is expensive for both the consumers and the farmers alike. While it ensures that the chocolate you are buying was produced by a farmer who was paid a fair price and produced it using ethical labor practices; it does not tell you how much the farmer paid for that certification. This is the portion of that label that is often overlooked. And yet it is important to note that the farmer (or farmers, which is most often the case) had to pay thousands of dollars to gain that label. 

So while you can rest assured that the farmer did not use child labor you cannot rest assured that the process is as nice and neat as you would be led to believe. 

For example-

Besides the thousands of dollars spent to get certified (which could had been used to invest in the workers themselves), the farmers are often paying dues to cooperatives. This increases the amount of money the farmers need to make before their product is worth the time it takes to produce. The increased cost also drives down the amount the farmer would otherwise be capable of paying their workers. 

Yet, outside all this, in the case of child labor and chocolate production fair trade is a valuable tool in helping you avoid chocolate made utilizing child labor. 

Organic

The vast majority of organic chocolate comes from South America. So while all organic chocolate may not be completely child free, the source country on the label should indicate another country outside West Africa. This method allows you to decide to buy chocolate that is not produced in the five countries mentioned in the first picture (all of whom are well known for child labor). Yet unless you research the country of origin it does not assure you that the producer did not utilize child labor. 

This method requires the consumer to research both the producer's labor practices and the common labor practices of the country where the cocoa came from. It also may require the consumer to research the ecological cost of cocoa produced in countries that are home to the Amazon Rain Forest. 

Source Country 

The most direct way to find out where your chocolate comes from and how it was produced is to put in the effort to research the producer and the country of origin. This method allows you to both gain knowledge of how your chocolate was produced and where it comes from. To do this you will find it is easier if you find a brand that is Fair Trade or certified organic. You may also want to find a brand you like (since that is the reason behind buying the product anyway). 

Once you find a product you know you want and just can't live without the real fun starts...

First you want to make sure that your chocolate is not made with cocoa from Africa.

Then try and find out just how many companies or facilities the product has gone through before reaching you. Chances are that if the product takes the shortest route from farm to shelf it is child labor free. If the product has to go from one country to the next (and then some) the chances for utilizing child labor in the production and/or harvesting of the cocoa goes up. It also means that less of your money is going back to the person who produced the cocoa in the first place. 

These two steps will greatly reduce the probability of your chocolate being made through the use of child labor or slave labor. 

Don't want to do all that work?

You can always visit sites like 'Stop The Traffik' to learn more about buying chocolate made without child labor. You will still have to do a little reading. But if you made it to the bottom of this post and didn't switch over to a YouTube video of cats or whatnot... I guess a little more reading won't kill you. 

Happy Halloween From All The Alder's Ledge Team

Want To Contact Us?

Tweet To Us On Twitter: @alders_ledge

Source Documents 

(note: not all sources listed)

Food Is Power.org 

http://www.foodispower.org/slavery-in-the-chocolate-industry/

Flo-cert.net 

http://www.flo-cert.net/flo-cert/fileadmin/user_upload/certification/cost/en/20120120/PC_FeeSysSPO_ED_23_en.pdf 

 

Stop The Traffik 

http://www.stopthetraffik.org/campaign/chocolate 

Huffington Post

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/30/conflict-free-chocolate-easter_n_2985023.html?ref=topbar

A Silent Scream

Child Abuse And Neglect In Indiana (And Across The Country).
(part of the Lost Childhood series)

(80% of children who die from abuse are under the age of 4)

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Across the country there is a common perception that child abuse and neglect are things that happen in someone else’s neighborhood. We tend to imagine that we live in a world where such grotesque acts of depravity could not be happening right next door. Instead we greet our neighbors with smiles and try to imagine that the picturesque world we have made for ourselves is just that… picturesque.

Statistics on our neighborhoods, our cities, our states, and our country as a whole do not paint our world as we would wish it to be. With a few clicks of the mouse you can easily find the numbers for your state, your county, and your city. With just a few moments of research you can see just how such a wretched crime is being ignored as it happens again and again… right next door.

 (Image via Child Help)

For Indiana, the home state of Alder’s Ledge, these numbers are daunting. 

During 2010 in Indiana there were 23,095 cases of child abuse or neglect. That is the amounts to around 14.5 children out of every1,000 children in Indiana. Of these 11 percent were physically abused, 16.2 percent were sexually abused, and 89 percent were severely neglected. This is only made more tragic when we factor in that 17 of these children succumbed to the trauma inflicted upon them by their abusers and/or the neglect they suffered.

This is just one state. It is just one portion of the world where people are expected to be wholesome and kindhearted. It is after all home to the infamous “Hoosier hospitality”. And Hoosiers are among some of the most generous people when it comes to donating to charitable causes.

So we are left with the fact that child abuse is not something that can be kept at bay by our good intentions. Once the doors close the skeletons come out of the closets. When the world isn’t looking the monsters inside us seem all too willing to come out and stretch their muscles. Inside each of us is the potential for tremendous good and unconscionable maliciousness. The only difference between the people who commit this crime and those who do not is the ability to choose the prior rather than embracing the later.

There is no excuse for this behavior. There is no defense for the abuse and slaughter of innocent children, ever.

During 2009 in Indiana of the 38 children killed due to abuse and/or neglect 79 percent of them were three years of age (or younger). All of these children could have been spared the fate their abusers dealt them. Yet the silence of our society allowed them to perish.

For the children who survive their abuse and/or neglect there are lasting effects that span well into their adulthood.

• 14% of all men in prison in the United States and 36% of all women were victims of child abuse and/or neglect. (Nearly twice the frequency seen in the rest of the population.)
• Children who are abused are nearly nine times more likely to become involved in criminal activities.
• About 80% of 21 year-old adults who had been abused as children tested positive for at least one psychological disorder.
• Around 30% of abused and/or neglected children will later in life abuse their own children.
• Children who are abused are nearly three times more likely to have a substance abuse problem by the age of 18 than children who were not reported to have been abused.

In addition the cost to society itself is astounding. Americans on an average year pay and estimated 124 billion dollars as a result of the direct effects of child abuse. This number is however an estimate since an untold number of cases of child abuse go unreported every year.

Child abuse and neglect can be defined in several ways. Children who suffer from neglect of abuse do not necessarily suffer just one form or another. In many cases children who are reported as having suffered abuse often are recorded as suffering multiple types of abuse and neglect.

While neglect of a dependent is the most prevalent it is also the most noticeable form of abuse. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and psychological abuse are harder to identify without the crime itself being reported by either the victim or a witness. This is made even more difficult when one realizes that the perpetrator of these crimes often uses intimidation or inherit trust to keep the victim silent.

Breaking The Silence

This crime knows no boundaries. Though the myths all claim it is a social ill that is mainly the problem of the underprivileged and poor the facts all show it is a pervasive disease of mankind. There are no members of society that are beyond it. There is no social class that does not commit it. There is no religion or culture that does not have it amongst them. Money, education, faith, and good intentions do not stop it. The only source of preventing it is through persistent vigilance.

When pushed to their limits parents, family members, and general custodians of children can reach a breaking point. However, the moment the child is forced to suffer physical, emotional, or sexual abuse the excuse of being frustrated cannot be applied or allowed. There must be a zero tolerance threshold for these acts. The effect of even one incident costs both the family and community for the remainder of that child's life. In addition, just one incident of abuse and/or neglect creates barriers in that child's life that may limit the child's mental and emotional development. 

As a society we have an obligation to our most precious gift, our children, to readily combat this crime. We must realize as a whole that these victims have no ability to defend themselves or knowledge of how to seek a way out. Abuse isolates a child in a way that prevents them from seeking help (especially when the abuser is a family member or parent). Therefore, these children rely upon the intervention of adults (whether that be relatives or community members). 

Society as a whole must realize that child abuse does not simply pertain to physical abuse. Sexual acts (or forcing the witnessing of sexual acts), psychological abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and verbal abuse are all forms of abuse that must also be identified and punished without exception. The myth that "if it isn't violent it isn't abuse" cannot be permitted to continue. Any and all forms of abuse must be punished with the full force of our laws and zeal. 

In addition the said laws must be persistently scrutiny so as to be certain that there is no way for abusive cases to slip through the system. Whenever a child dies from abuse (especially when it has been reported) the system must be investigated and the failures must be identified. In cases where the system has failed due to neglect of it's operators those responsible must be punished to the fullest extent. When it comes to the life of any child there is no room for failure.

As for those of us who are not in a position to pursue these crimes there is always the responsibility to report them. By turning our eyes away we become accomplices in the suffering that these children have to face daily. If we are not willing to scream for them we must ask ourselves who will?

To report a suspected case of neglect or abuse all you have to do is make one simple phone call:

• United States or Canada: 1-800-422-4453
• UK: 0800-1111
• Australia: 1-800-688-009
• New Zealand: 0800-543-754 

(For more international list please visit: http://www.chiworld.org/)

By utilizing your voice you give these children a chance at a life free from abuse. Though the consequences of the abuse they have already sustained may not change, the hope for a better tomorrow is given to them. And all it takes is one phone call.

If you suspect a child is being sexually abused you can also call:

• "Stop It Now": 1-888-773-8368
• RAINN:  1-800-656-4673 
• For international list visit: http://www.chiworld.org/

In Indiana there are resources available for parents who feel they need help caring for an infant. The "Safe Haven Law" allows for parents who wish to surrender their infant the ability to do so for 30 days after birth. As long as there are no signs of intentional abuse the person surrendering the child will only need to prove they are the legal custodian of the child.

If you are an Indiana parent of a baby less than 30 days of age and can't provide for him/her you can learn more about your options by visiting: http://www.safehaven.tv/ or calling 1-877-796-HOPE (4673).

Help break the silence by visiting any of the sources listed below to learn how you can help raise awareness of this horrible crime. You can also help by sharing articles like this one and thus raising awareness of child abuse. Lending your voice, your vigilance, and your compassion is the only way that this crime can be stopped. So do your part and scream for those who have been made mute by this wretched crime.

Want to know more about this subject?

Follow us on Twitter: @alders_ledge

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Source Documents
(note: not all sources listed)

Prevent Child Abuse Indiana
http://www.pcain.org/statistics.asp

CWLA
http://www.cwla.org/advocacy/statefactsheets/2012/indiana.pdf

Child Help
http://www.childhelp-usa.com/pages/statistics

National Children's Alliance
http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/NCANationalStatistics

Help Guide
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

Nowhere Left To Hide

Two Hundred Thousand Children At Risk
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

 

 Within twenty four hours of capturing Goma the Congolese rebels of M23 began their search for anyone loyal to the government. Those who had worked for the city were hunted down and executed in mass. Anyone who had ties to the military were also rounded up and killed. The numbers of how many were killed are still being estimated as the rebels prepare to move onto their next city.

As for the 200,000 estimated children (under the age of 18) within Goma, the roundups are still happening. These children are now at risk of being forced into conscription with the M23 rebels. This would mean that they would be turned into child soldiers and used as slave labor by the rebel army. Their task would be more dangerous than their adult captors. They could be facing task such as placing landmines, running ammunition under fire, and fetching weapons off fallen soldiers. 

According to UNICEF around 600 children are in immediate danger due to having been separated by from their families. "We know from the recent practices of the groups involved in this latest fighting that unaccompanied children in this part of DRC are in immediate and real danger of forcible recruitment into armed groups," reported World Vision. Once again it is important to remember that nobody can say for sure how many children are being forced into the rebel army. Yet reports of forced recruitment are coming in. 

"Children have nowhere to turn, we can't get to them, and we are hearing reports of groups arming people around Goma. Local partners have seen armed people passing guns and ammunition to civilians this morning, including children aged 16-18. A former child soldier we have worked with in the past told us today: 'I have seen some of my friends receiving weapons and going to fight... they are being told to go and fight the rebels and take their guns'." As reported by World Vision.

These children are, just as everyone else in Goma, afraid and lost as confusion sets in and lawlessness take over. Loyalist are just as likely to take advantage of this sense of helplessness as they too force children into makeshift militias in an attempt to fight off the M23 rebels... something the Congolese military refused to do. With this irony the children of Goma are quickly finding themselves with nowhere left to hide.

Organizations like World Vision and UNICEF are urgently petitioning the government of the Democratic Republic of the Congo to take action to stop this criminal activity. Many of the human rights groups working in the area have tried to get permission to enter the conflict areas to rescue innocent civilians caught up in the battle. However it is more than likely that nobody will be able to reach the conflict region until most of the atrocities and crimes have already been committed.

As the M23 rebels prepare to march on their next target, Kinshasa, the citizens of Goma will continue to suffer mass executions, gang rapes of women and children, and the looting of their homes and businesses. One can only hope that the majority of the 200,000 children of Goma will escape with their lives.... and avoid the horrors of becoming a child soldier.

Hide And Go Seek

Rebels Accused of Using Children as Weapons.
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

(Children of Refugees in the Congo)

As the rebel group M23 marched into Goma, in the eastern part of the Congo, they bore weapons more sophisticated than most Congolese soldiers. Rwanda, and Uganda to an extent, have been funding these barbaric rebels and supplying weaponry such as night vision goggles and 120mm mortars. And for this reason the Democratic Republic of Congo's government has declared the M23 rebels are nothing more than "mercenaries". 

For the children of Goma, a city of nearly 1 million people, the approach of the M23 rebels was a sign of terror. It has been recorded that the rebels have in the past and currently engage in the deployment of child soldiers. These young combatants are often forced into battle against their will. And those who do not fight are often killed by the forces that brought them into the war in the first place. 

So far the United States has imposed sanctions upon the M23 rebels for the use of child soldiers. This measure is odd in the light of Obama's decision to relax sanctions on the government of the Congo itself. Meaning that while the United States is going to be sending goods and providing aid to a government that fled Goma like dogs with their tails between their legs. So it is hard to imagine that any aid provided would somehow not make its way into rebel hands. 

Meanwhile both the United States and the United Kingdom both offer aid to Rwanda and have lucrative trade deals with their ally in the region. It is now questionable whether or not this very aid provided to Rwanda is simply being funneled into M23 rebels' hands. And if the aid is being diverted into a proxy war with the Congolese government then any sanction imposed upon the Congo will further aid the rebels. 

As for the children trapped in the path of the M23 rebels the horrors of war still await. An untold number of children will be forced to flee as the rebels attack their villages. Others could face the terror of being forced to fight for the rebels. But most could simply grow up in refugee camps facing starvation, disease, and the lack of what could be considered a normal childhood. 

All of this could be prevented however. UN peacekeepers could be given a mandate to engage and stop the march of the M23 rebels across the eastern part of the Congo. Currently the UN peacekeepers (MONUSCO) can not and do not fight back against rebel attacks. Instead of defending the international airport in Goma, the UN stood down. Their actions helped the rebels in their war against the Congolese government. 

If the UN does not change its approach to defending even the most basic of human rights we could be watching Rwanda play out its genocide on foreign soil.

Yum, Yum

Preying On The Innocent
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

 (Sex Slaves in Cambodia, Ages Unknown)

It is the personal opinion of the author of this article that people who trade in or purchase the sexual services of anyone under the age of consent should face the possibility of the death penalty. With that said, please read the rest of this article.

In Cambodia children as young as 6 years old can be readily purchased by the hour by sexual deviants from the moment they step off the plane. If the pedophile knows where to look, has done his/her research online, they can often spot the signs of a pimp. These peddlers of innocents lost will openly start up the conversation if the sex tourist gives any sign that they are interested. Boys, girls... nothing is sacred in this perverted industry. No age is off limits. If the child can walk, there is a pervert ready to take advantage of Cambodia's most neglected commodity. 

The organization "Save the Children" estimates that as many as 50 to 100 thousand children and young women are subject to sexual slavery within Cambodia. This number is most likely far lower than the actual number of sexual slaves within the country. Mainly due to the growing sex tourism industry within Southeast Asia. A region where sexual predators can spend half the money as they would back home on prostitutes half the age. 

The growing crime has become the subject of intense international scrutiny. However with many outside governments unwilling to part with the notion of "national sovereignty" when dealing with blatant human rights violations... the trade continues to grow disproportionately to the rest of the economy. Instead of imposing the same sanctions we would apply for genocide upon a country the rest of the world has decided to look the other way when dealing with human trafficking and child prostitution. 

"The Svay Pak brothel area outside Phnom Penh, where children are exploited in the sex trade, continues to operate despite numerous attempts by police to close it down." United States State Department Human Trafficking Report 2012.

When sexual slavery within Cambodia becomes less profitable for the Cambodian pimps the children are often sent across borders into Vietnam, Thailand, and even over waters to Malaysia. The exploitation of Cambodian children has become such a problem that tourist visiting Cambodia for nonsexual reasons can easily spot government sponsored posters, commercials, and billboards warning about the very issue. Yet the actual prosecution of pedophiles traveling to Cambodia for sex is rare. 

In the sparse cases of criminal prosecution of "johns" the Cambodian government has shown that it has the ability to be tough on sexual predators. Yet in other cases, such as Dr. James D'Agostino, it also appears that prosecutors in Cambodia are able to achieve convictions without much evidence only so that the government can save face with the outside world. The actual ability of the government in Phnom Penh to achieve consistency in attacking this criminal enterprise is often seen as weak if not impossible to gauge. 

 "Within the country, Cambodian and ethnic Vietnamese women and girls are trafficked from rural areas to Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, Poipet, Koh Kong, and Sihanoukville for commercial sexual exploitation. The sale of virgin girls continues to be a serious problem in Cambodia." United States State Department Human Trafficking Report 2012.

Poverty continues to be the driving factor in human trafficking throughout Southeast Asia. Being one of the poorest countries, only ahead of Laos, in the region has left Cambodians exceptionally vulnerable to this crime. Parents in Cambodia often are known to sell their children to traffickers under the promise of a better life by the predators. Other children are often put out to the streets to beg where they are lured or kidnapped and put into the sex trade.

A more disgusting part of the sex trade in Cambodia is fueled by the Khmer belief that having sex with a virgin will somehow endow the man with virility and other desirable masculine traits. This superstition continues to drive a disturbing number of Cambodian men to the sex trade. There they can readily find girls from the age 6 and up. And for most of these homegrown pedophiles the "virgin" is often a young girl who has been sold time and time again.

(Victim of Cambodia's "Sex Tourism" Industry)

No child should ever have to live this way. No human being should ever be bought or sold. This is not a simple matter of human rights. This is the fight to end the trade that spawned our understanding of the most fundamental of all human rights... Freedom. 

All people, of all ages, has the right from their first breath to a life free of fear. We are born into this life with the desire for it. We are born with the passion to preserve it. We are born to need it. Freedom is not a right we can deny to one and grant to another. As long as even one of us is left in slavery, none of us are truly free. 

In this spirit the world should offer Cambodia clear cut ways to end this crime against humanity.

First Cambodia needs to investigate and prosecute government officials complicit in human trafficking. It is painfully obvious when one looks at the "red light" districts of Southeast Asia that police are more than willing to look the other way. For this reason it should be standard practice of all state and federal authorities that any officer, politician, or judge willing to look the other way should face harsher sentences than even the "johns" themselves. We are not talking about just prostitutes and johns anyway. We are talking about modern day slavery. 

As for the pimps, Cambodia should create a registry with every arrest in which the slave driver is recorded. It is my own opinion that there is theoretically no sentence to harsh for these wretched souls. But in reality Cambodia should strengthen the sentences already in place while confiscating the property and money which the slave holder has made from this trade. The property should be sold and the money should be given those now responsible for the safety of the exploited children. 

As for the "johns"... again, it is my personal view that death is as befitting a punishment as any for these individuals. In reality Cambodia should use the most extreme punishment their penal system has to offer. The sentence should be as long as they government is willing to make it. And the johns from other countries should be sent to their country of origin only if the crime is punished harsher than it would be within Cambodia. 

We can not afford to take baby steps in our fight to end human trafficking. We spent far to long arguing the last time we fought slavery. It is time now to end this form of it. It is time that we show those who would exploit our next generation that we as a world community stand united in our desire to rid ourselves of slavery in all forms. Especially when it devastates our children... our hope... our innocents.

Sinking To A New Low

Syria's Hope Lost To War
(Part of the Lost Childhood series and The Darkness Visible post)

(Syrian Boy Recruited To Fight For The Rebels)

Every time I think about Syria a part of my soul screams out. I pray for the people there. I pray for their safety. I pray for peace. The images of their youth being killed by Assad's forces haunt me. The images of their cities burning never leave the back of my mind. Every day I do not write about their struggle is a day where my soul remains restless. It pleads with me to scream. 

That is why it has hurt in ways I never thought imaginable to see this struggle for freedom to be degraded into a fight for survival. I have watched as Russia (the motherland of oppression) has continued to supply Assad with the tools he needs to continue his reign of terror. I have watched China stand in the way of diplomacy as it trickles money into Assad's pockets through Russian hands. And I have been sickened to see Iranian snipers remaining diligent in their attacks on innocent Syrian citizens. 

This could have all been avoided... this could have been stopped. 

(Wounded Innocence) 

When Barack Obama took action in Libya he claimed he was stopping "genocide". It was the key word he knew would justify pushing regime change on the Libyan people. He didn't mention the black Africans that were being killed by the Libyan Arabs. He didn't mention that the people he was helping were already a group of armed combatants... combatants that had sparked the conflict. Obama just knew that by using the word "genocide" he could justify using American might to get his way. 

This is why Obama does not act to stop the genocide in Syria. I have posted in several articles in "The Darkness Visible" series why this war of Assad's can be classified as genocide. I have made it clear that Assad is pushing his version of Islam while attempting to subdue or destroy an opposing religious sect in the process. The rebellion in Syria is a response to Assad's own actions. Unlike Libya, this conflict was started by the regime... for the regime... and will only be ended with a change of regime. 

Something Obama and the West seem reluctant to approach. 

But that is not what has drawn me back to Syria tonight. It is the fact that the Free Syrian Army (the rebels) are now openly using child soldiers that has troubled me. The use of a child as a combatant for any cause can not be ignored. These children are the very source of Syria's hope. And this act of abuse is now poisoning any hope Syria has left. 

For over a year now I have watched as images of Syria's youth flashed before my eyes. Their young lifeless bodies captured in horrific images that have robbed me of sleep. Those who remained shown the sheer horror of what had happened upon their faces. For over a year those most innocent of souls have been my driving force in writing and screaming for them.... for their future. 

If Syria is to live, if it is to thrive, it must have a source of strength to draw upon. When a child is robbed of their most valuable years this source of strength is damaged. The inspiration for their future is crumbled. And the evil we wish to protect them from is given a place in their soul from which it can not be removed. These acts leave scars that time can only fade... not heal. 

For the Free Syrian Army it has taken over almost two years to reach this point of desperation. They have been massacred. They have been imprisoned in hellish conditions. And they have watched as their cities, homes, and families were stripped away from them. But this act, even out of desperation, can not go unpunished. 

It takes grooming and force to make a child fight. It takes abuse, both physical and emotional, to keep a child on the battlefield. And it takes a heartless monster to allow these children to die fighting a battle grown men could not win. 

(Wounded Rebel Leaving the Battlefield)

Sadly it appears that the West is set to act now that the fighting has claimed so many. They do not seem to have the stomach to send in troops though. They don't have the spine to send in planes though. Instead, the West is ready to prosecute the Syrian rebels for the use of children soldiers. This crime against humanity seems to be the straw to have broken the camel's back. 

We will not go after Assad for bombing out cities and hiding his troops amongst mosque and schools. We will not go after Assad for organizing massacres of children and then calling the dead terrorist. We will not go after Assad for systematically targeting a specific religious sect of Islam. 

We simply will target the rebels for crossing the last line in the sand we had left. 

I believe that if it is to be the place of any court to prosecute war crimes and genocide then it is the court's responsibility to prosecute these sins every time by every side. Assad should be the first of the murderers to be marched out and executed for his sins against humanity. Then we can start finding those responsible for the massacres on both sides. And we must track down those who brought children to the battlefield... both as weapons and shields. 

We can not pick and choose our battles when it comes to these issues. Not even when it become inconvenient.

Like Lambs Among Wolves

Children Soldiers on Colombian Battlefields
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

The War on Drugs has long raged in Colombia. United States presidents have committed large numbers of soldiers and special forces to combat the problem. We have fortune in tax dollars to prop up the Colombian government and even support militia groups that were supposed to combat organizations like FARC. But all this has led to a war we can not win yet can not afford to lose. 

For decades now the guerrilla armies of Colombia have been abducting victims that are often forced into slavery and at times conscripted into combat. Many have been sent to concentration camps deep in the jungle where they are forced into slave labor. Countless victims have perished in FARC captivity due to disease, starvation, and out right massacres. 

Children are the most vulnerable victims of this barbaric practice of slavery and forced conscription. In the past the bulk of these children forced into combat roles were young boys. Today an estimated 43 percent of the children are now girls. This sudden increase of girls in FARC captivity can be directly linked to their use as sexual slaves and the human trafficking coming out of South America. The boys are still used and subjected in the same manner although sexual abuse of boys in FARC captivity is on the rise. 

In 2012 the number of children currently acting as child soldiers in Colombia was estimated in a recent study (titled "Like Lambs Among Wolves" by Natalia Springer) to be 18,000 children. With just under half of these children thought to be young girls. All these children are currently used to secure the leftist FARC goal of bringing about a Communist state in Colombia. All are slaves to a cause not their own. All are subject to a mortality rate of nearly 90 percent. 

Outside of Colombia the children soldiers have few people who are willing to fight for them. In Europe and the United States their cause is subjected to politics and the lack of will to wage full scale war on the Colombian rebels. Politicians in the developed world rarely admit to the use of child soldiers in Colombia unless they want to sink more money into private projects. In South America the politicians support FARC for the most part. Hugo Chavez and Castro both sink what funds they have into overthrowing their neighboring country's government. Both Venezuela and Cuba view the use of child soldiers as a simple tactic of war.... a means that justifies the rise of a communist regime. 

As for life amongst their FARC commanders, the child soldiers are given little protection or care. They are forced to find their food or pillage and fight for it. Medicine is rare if ever given. And the task they are used for are considered to be the most dangerous task FARC carries out. These include the laying of landmines and improvised explosives... task that often end in the deaths of the children. 

In many cases of mass atrocities in which FARC takes credit the children soldiers are often forced to participate. Young boys and girls are forced to take captives and torture their victims at the direction of the FARC commanders. The female child soldiers are then forced to take part in rapes as they too are sexually abused in the process. These young girls are considered the sexual property of their FARC commanders. 

When Obama waived the sanctions on governments that employ the use of child soldiers he unfortunately did not have to lift restrictions on a single South American country. Countries like Venezuela, who support the use of child soldiers in neighboring countries, are not subjected to the sanctions imposed by the Child Soldier Protection Act of 2008. These rouge nations who support the exploitation of children and actively participate in human trafficking are left untouched by such laws in Europe and the United States. Instead they are allowed to continue with normal trade with the developed world. And in the case of Venezuela, who's natural resources Europe can't live without, their trade with the West goes uninterrupted. 

If the Western world is to actively fight against the enslavement of our world's greatest resource, our children, then we must go after all who support it. Countries like Venezuela must be punished as harshly as Iran has for its human rights abuses. We must cut trade, embargo their exports, and isolate these nations in such a manner that they can not continue to violate the inalienable rights of innocent children. As for those who more directly participate in the use of children as combatants... they deserve direct military intervention. 

This is not a war to stop the flow of drugs anymore. This is a war to liberate those put into slavery by the enemy. This a war for independence. This is a war to restore the dreams of childhood to those from whom it has been stolen.

No Place in a Civilized World

"...That's Slavery"
(part of the Lost Childhood series)

(Children in Yemen's Army)

In October of 2010 the Barack Obama administration began to put into place actions that would lead to United States military aid to countries using children as soldiers. This meant that countries like Libya, Yemen, and South Sudan would receive weapons, ammunition, and food for their armies while the children of those countries were being forced to kill or be killed. Yet this was the president that claimed to be the biggest humanitarian to ever take office in United States history. This was the guy who ran on a slogan of "Hope". But here he was offering the life blood of any military to countries forcing children to fight... countries who offered no such "hope" to their own future. 

“When a little boy is kidnapped, turned into a child soldier, forced to kill or be killed — that’s slavery,” Obama said in a speech at the Clinton Global Initiative. “It is barbaric, and it is evil, and it has no place in a civilized world. Now, as a nation, we’ve long rejected such cruelty.” (October 2012)

Slavery you say mister Obama? Barbaric you say mister President? Evil even? 

For three years now the United States has been offering military aid to the Congo and South Sudan. We have also been waiving almost all sanctions on Yemen and Libya. These are all actions that were banned under the Child Soldiers Protection Act of 2008 by the United States Congress. These are all actions that were banned so that we, the United States, would not be seen as offering comfort to armies that employ slavery and children as weapons. 

In 2010 Obama told the New York Times that the waiving of these sanctions were of "the national interest". But what is the national interest in allowing children to be "kidnapped" and dragged off to war? Why are we so invested in allowing children to serve in militias in Chad, Yemen, Libya, South Sudan, or the Congo? 

There is no national interest in allowing the oppressive regimes of these countries to continue to recruit and abduct children from all over the globe. In Nepal the children soldiers are used as front lines human shields and gun runners. Do we have a national interest in teaching children to run guns a little faster or to zig-zag a little more while being shot at? Do we have a national interest in telling children to not fall over when the first bullet hits them? 

“After such a strong statement against the exploitation of children, it seems bizarre that Obama would give a pass to countries using children in their armed forces and using US tax money to do that,” Jesse Eaves - World Vision.

When it comes down to the bottom line it should be obvious to all Americans that it is unacceptable for our tax dollars to be funding children on the battle field. We can not nor should not take the word of a President simply because he thinks the ends will justify the means. This is not an issue that can be compromised on. We are not a nation that holds such low morals that we can accept the abuse of children anywhere for any cause. We are a people that believe that all men are created equal and this applies directly to children and women. Therefore we can not accept a president that calls it "slavery" but will take no action to stop it. 

After all, was it not a previous president that went to war to end slavery of Michelle Obama's ancestors? So why is it that Barack Obama now finds it suitable that our military and our tax dollars would help keep children around the world in bondage?

Sources Used 

(Note not all Sources Listed)

The Malay Mail

http://www.mmail.com.my/story/barbaric-yet-us-turns-blind-eye-child-soldiers-32432

UPI.com

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2012/10/04/Groups-say-US-weak-on-child-soldier-ban/UPI-73781349364001/

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/10/28/Obama-waives-child-soldier-sanctions/UPI-40901288304465/?rel=73781349364001