Broken

Life After Abuse
(part of Lost Childhood series)



We all carry around parts of our past that no matter how hard we try to hide them they always find a way of coming to the surface. These scars are part of us. They don't go away just because we push the pain deep down inside. For some these emotional scars find ways of physically manifesting as over time we try to deny them any other outlet. And in the end we end up suffering from a cycle of torment we never wanted in the first place.

This is not the story of the abuse we suffered. It is not just accounts of what happened or why we think it happened to us. This is the story of what it is like living after the abuse itself has ended. These are our scars.

In reading this we ask that you, if you don't have the same scars, try only to understand why this subject is covered here at Alder's Ledge.

Misfits

For nearly a decade now the team at Alder's Ledge has worked with team members that have come from every walk of life imaginable. We have had every profession we could think of represented on our staff at one point in time or another. Most of us aren't of the same religious or cultural background. And most of us wouldn't have ever really become friends if it wasn't for one thing we all tend to have in common...

Scars. 

The team members that have stayed with the team the longest are often the biggest misfits amongst us, myself included. We all come from backgrounds that often make our passion for this work rather strong and fiery. Between our scars and our passions, we really aren't fit for other lines of work anyhow. Yet for all we have in common there are these scars that often makes it difficult at times for us to get along. And at other times it's those same scars that bind us together.

Over the past month this part of our mismatched team has brought every still bleeding wound right back to the surface. Things outside our control ripped open the scabs we so viciously protect and left us once again vulnerable and exposed. And for the first time, for most of us, this was a chance to see what we all try to hide... the shame, the pain, the nightmares, the fear, this sense of being broken. 

Abandonment

When I first saw my beloved sister's eyes open for the first time since the attack I saw the same look I had in mine all those years when I was little. A look of pleading for someone to help. A look of pleading for someone to just be there. A look of fear that nobody would stay beside her as she fought for every last breath. It didn't matter that I was halfway around the world or that she wasn't my actual flesh and blood. I knew then that every waking moment would be spent making sure that look in her eyes, that fear, would fade away.

Over the years we had shared so much of our scars that I knew in that moment what was going through her mind. I knew that she had woken up far too many times with that look masking her beautiful eyes. I knew that in that mind were memories of years spent locked in a room after being beat nearly to death. I knew that those sights, those smells, that pain... all of those were flooding her mind as she gasped for air.

Every time I had woke up I knew felt it. I felt that rush of relief that at very least I was still alive. And yet with each breath there was a sense of fear that it wasn't over. A sense of fear that I was still fighting for life and no one could help me.

Offering words, since I could not physically touch her, I looked into the screen and fought back every tear. All I wanted was to take away that fear of being abandoned. All I wanted was to say that everything was going to be okay. But if you have been in that place before then you know that words don't dull the fear. The only thing that fades it to at very least a tolerable level is the fact that somebody is there. So all I could do was be there. There wasn't any fixing this. There wasn't any way of stopping the memories. There wasn't anyway to heal the wounds that time itself couldn't even keep from reopening.

No matter how long it has been since the abuse ended there will always be these lingering senses of fear. For some it is that of being abandoned. That was our shared fear. We had been left alone to lick our own wounds for years. And though we often felt like we had grown strong enough to do just that, we had this fear constantly.

Abandonment breeds in the mind more fears as time goes on. It brings to the surface ideas that we are somehow unlovable and unworthy of affection. It places in our minds this idea that we deserved the punishment of being abandoned by those who once claimed to love us. In time it makes us believe that we were the reason for our own abuse and neglect. Because in the time that it was first planted we weren't able to rationalize why it was happening. We weren't capable of understanding why we were being treated as though we were worthless or undesirable.

For me the sense of being abandoned bred a sense of worthlessness. For my sister it bred more so a sense of being unlovable. For both of us it created a barrier from behind which we hid from everyone else. Like the lepers of the Bible, we used it to tell the world that we were unclean in one way or another... that we couldn't be loved and there was no reason for anyone to try.

It is a scar that opens and closes without warning. When someone who has this wound lets another person come close to them they are risking having that scar ripped back open. This risk is never far from the mind of us who have it. Letting people close means living with this fear every moment that we are with that person. The fear that they will discover just how unworthy of their affection we truly are is always in the backs of our mind. And time doesn't heal this scar, it only magnifies it.

To live with it, both her and I alike, have had to accept that we are worthy of love. Though that fear will always linger, we had to accept that it wasn't rational. We had to finally understand that we didn't deserve what had happened to us in the past. That at some point those sins committed against us were not our fault. And that the people who hurt us may not deserve our forgiveness but they needed it so that their memory couldn't continue to kill us.

Guilt 

Once the reality of what had happened began to set in it was inevitable that she began to place the blame for her own attack not on her assailants but on herself. My sister had been viciously assaulted to the point of barely surviving it. Yet the scars that were left from a lifetime of abuse didn't register the events the same way the rest of the world would had. Instead of seeing the attack as unprovoked barbarism, her past assigned blame the same way she had been trained to through years of abuse. This was the scar that guilt leaves behind upon the victim.

There is no rational reason for why we do this. We find in the end that we need to blame someone for what has happened. And when there isn't a real reason for it, we find the first person we can to blame... ourselves. 

Just as with the fear of abandonment, this sense of guilt comes from believing that somehow we deserved what happened. For me it was an easy conclusion to come to since the abuse I suffered was often given the prefix of punishment. I could easily assume that I had done something to provoke such a violent response. Yet for my sister the abuse she had suffered was inflicted by men who had purchased the "right" to inflict these scars. And yet she had come to the same conclusion that somehow, in some way, she was responsible for the abuse she was made to suffer. 

Living with guilt is impossible over time. Once the abuse ends the guilt still remains. It is a corrosive emotion that slowly etches away every relationship we develop along the way. The only way to end it's destructive nature in our lives is to deal with the events that had led to the inflicting of this scar in the first place. 

For me this was something I had long felt was impossible. Instead of dealing with those memories I had pushed them down till they finally exploded. And when they came to the surface they came back with a vengeance. Memories that could be fought back while I was awake manifested into nightmares. And nightmares became the embodiment of that room where I had felt like a caged animal. Trapped inside my head, I had to face those memories over and over again. 

For my sister those memories came rushing back when anyone would dare to touch her in anyway that resembled intimacy. Every touch was like playing a game of dice between the responses of fight, flight, or freeze. Memories of what had happened to her replaced the responses of love or compassion that would had fit those moments. The reaction of fear, fear of being hurt again, pushed back against even the most sincere of gestures. It was a fear that isolated her over the years and left her trapped in much the same way she had been during the abuse itself. 

It was through talking to each other over the years that we both realized that we had to face what was done to us. We had to turn and fight our own past. All this running was only making us relive the abuse as we pushed away those who cared about us. And though we still are battling our own demons, in facing those memories we have at the very least learned from each other what trust feels like again. 

Yet the only way we have gotten to the point where we can even start to deal with these scars was with the admission that none of this was our fault. Guilt was like a chain that kept us bound to these memories. And it created even more scars the longer we lived with it.

Shame And Silence

Tears don't wash away the shame you feel when you bare these scars. The more you cry the more it feels like these scars grow deeper. This only continues till you reach a point where there aren't any more tears to shed and there isn't a cry left to be heard. Silence becomes your only friend as you try to hide your scars from everyone around you. 

Isolation becomes normal as guilt leaves you afraid that others will see what happened to you. Your mind warps that guilt into a state where you honestly start to believe that everyone else will blame you too. So the only real option you see at that point is to either withdraw and hide or become so outgoing that the obnoxiousness of it all drives others away. There really isn't much of a middle ground here.

When we did finally start talking, after so many years of isolating that part of our lives from others, the first question people ask is damning to us. 

"Why didn't you say something..."

It doesn't matter what the intentions behind that question really are... if there is actual concern or not doesn't make it past our defenses. That question makes every bit of shame we have felt for all that time come rushing over us like a tidal wave. The spirit that we have been working at mending, repairing, and holding together is broken with just one question. The strength it took to speak up is suddenly drained. It won't matter what follows next. That one question knocks the breath right out of us. 

Shame has a way of creating a defense that words can't penetrate. As long as we have not dealt with the guilt we have felt, we inevitably end up building those defenses. And once those go up; the longer they stay up, the harder it is to take them down.

I've never met anyone who suffered abuse that felt truly comfortable talking about it. Even those who suffered the same way I did don't always feel they can relate to my story. And I honestly don't always feel I can relate to theirs. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that much of this comes from the damage we suffered when it comes to trust. Even if the other person's story matches our own, we still feel that they will judge us. This is where guilt was left to turn to a lingering sense of shame. 

This scar is also why our stories in their entirety will not be shared. Speaking about these things takes time and trust for those who suffered abuse. For those who love and care about them there isn't much you can do to get those details out of them. If you truly care for them then all you can do is wait and offer them every reassurance that you won't judge them. But most importantly, you must always remember that just because they are holding back doesn't mean that they don't trust you.... it means those scars go deeper than you ever will really understand. 

Silence in the end can be far more dangerous to those of you have suffered any form of abuse. The longer you have to deal with those emotions, those memories, that indescribable pain... the longer you remain isolated then the longer you run the risk of depression and all that goes with it. We as a species aren't solitary animals. We need to speak, we need to share, with others that which is hurting us. We need the comfort of others. And even when the pain has taught us to withdraw... that is when we need it most. 

A Broken Spirit 

& 

Putting It Back Together

It would be nice if I could give a list of things to do to heal those scars and take away this broken feeling we try to hide. It would be nice to say that there was a quick way to end the pain that didn't only cause you more problems. But the fact is that there isn't anyway you can just bottle up those emotions and walk away from the feelings that will forever linger in the back of your mind. However, there are ways to live with them. There are ways to deal with this brokenness so that you can feel whole again. 

For my sister and I it began with talking to those who love us. We started with each other and those closest to us. Through the tears, the fear, and the reliving of those parts of our lives we found our way forward. The feeling that part of our soul was still broken didn't go away. There is always a part of us that doesn't feel normal... doesn't feel like we are all better and everything is sunshine and rainbows. But we started to heal the scars and put back what was taken from us. 

My sister's sense of insecurity was restored through our little family here at Alder's Ledge. Relationships that will last longer than this blog will helped her feel that there was at least someone that could love her for who she was... that could love her no matter what she had been through. The vulnerability that came with this wasn't easy to adjust to. Those scars had provided her with a sense of false security and now the healing of them left her exposed. It was only through out persistent reassurances that she felt like this healing process was worth the pain that came with it. 

As for me... my healing came through faith, family, and therapy. As much as I have always said that I would never turn to that last one, I did. The pain of what I had been through, the pain I was living with, was driving me crazy whether I wanted to admit it or not. Thoughts of life beyond that pain were terrifying because for so much of my life it was what I knew. Yet those first two led me to the later choice. I couldn't live with the torment that was hidden in my soul... my broken spirit was bleeding me out. 

We can't tell anyone that there is a set path forward. We have watched over this past year as a close friend lost his battle with the scars he had lived with. As a group we buried a friend who fell to the same fight we all have struggled with. We knew that day that we all might be fighting different battles but the scars are the same. And the result of surrender in this fight could just as easily be the same if we didn't call out for help. 

Life after abuse isn't easy. Some people will and can bare the pain till the day they die. And it might very well be a "natural death", but the soul was broken long ago. As long as the pain isn't dealt with you will always feel that pain creeping around in the back of your mind and lingering in your heart. 

The only thing we can say to finish this post is that if you are struggling with issues related to abuse you have suffered... please seek out help. 

Counseling and therapy may be the first step. Perhaps a religious organization would work for you better than a therapist. But whatever the case, please talk to someone. Those thoughts and feelings that come with the scars that abuse leaves behind don't heal themselves. They fester deep inside till something triggers them and brings them back to the surface. And when they do there is often the immediate response of fight, flight, or freeze... none of which will be pleasant. 

Don't wait. 

Don't bury those scars.

If you have suffered abuse.... 

Scream.

Growing Up Without A Childhood

Cambodia's Children Live With Exploitation
(Lost Childhood series)

(Some people pay to steal innocence... they call it "tourism")

In a country where the average income in Cambodia is still just around one US dollar the price of innocence can be dictated by the next American or European pervert ready to shell out to rape a child. It is a crime in Cambodia to have sex with children and yet the trafficking of children continues at relatively the same rate as it did a decade ago. This shows that despite government actions (as minimal as they might be) are doing little to deter the sexual predators that flock to Cambodia each year. The countries reputation as a "sex tourism" mainstay has been only growing as the cost of travel becomes cheaper to the affluent Western world. 

"Illegal Sex Trade Valued at $511 Million," Emma Poole - Calgary Herald, 23 August 2001

A steady flow of cash from the pockets of pedophiles (both domestic and foreign) drives the industry in Phnom Penh and the rest of Cambodia. The steady increase in unlawful tourism has only driven the profits of pimps and traffickers up over the last decade. Starting children at younger and younger ages, the pimps advertise their victims as virgins so as to draw in Cambodian men and Western johns. The suppliers of the victims simply have to go out into the country or into one of the many "poorer" neighborhoods of Phnom Penh to purchase young girls. This is made easier since, like so much of Asia, girls are considered less valuable than their brothers. Yet even boys are not spared victimization. In Cambodia everything seems to be up for sale.

"There are about 17,000 prostitutes in Phnom Penh, of whom about 30 % are estimated to be under 18 years of age." - Children of Cambodia

According to Children of Cambodia the average price a person pays to have sex with a child in Cambodia is 150 US dollars. This number is of course driven down by the sale of children to local pedophiles and the sale of children to pedophiles from Thailand and other neighboring countries. The main boost to this average comes from tourists arriving in Phnom Penh from the United States and Europe. However with the rise of the Chinese economy the increase in sexual tourism by Chinese pedophiles in Cambodia also increases the number of victims and the price at which they are sold. 

"Every year for the past 5 years (and probably beyond this,) the percentage of reported child trafficking victims has hovered at around 75% of all victims.  Equally as alarming are the rape statistics: roughly 72% of reported rape victims are children." As Reported By MalbaJayne

But despite the rise in sexual tourism the true reason for the ever increasing number of children being sold into sexual exploitation in Cambodia could be found within Cambodia itself.

“70% of all brothel patrons are native to Cambodia.” As Reported By Eleanor Herzog

The continued attitudes and customary beliefs of Cambodian society still make it common for Cambodian men to seek out sexual encounters with rather young girls. As is found in other areas of Asia the local belief that having sex with a virgin can cure ailments and bring fortune to the male is still common in Cambodia. Despite some other people's opinions, this traditional belief in the modern age however is pedophilia. And it may very well be one of the major driving factors in the continued growth of an illegal industry within a remarkably impoverished nation such as Cambodia. 

It is for this reason that despite international efforts to end the sex tourism industry that child prostitution continues to hold its place in Cambodian society. If Cambodia is not willing or remains unable to combat both the criminals who produce the victims and the government officials who support them, the crime will continue almost indefinitely. Traditional beliefs about sexual practices such as pedophilia must be undercut and removed from society at large. And future generations of Cambodians must be given back their childhoods if Cambodia is to ever have hope for its future in the modern world. 

The initial steps as a world community to combat this crime is to first put both political and economic pressure upon Cambodia to pass comprehensive reforms that would hold public officials accountable for their profiting off this industry. The United Nations must be allowed and willing to engage Cambodia aggressively in an effort to reduce and rapidly end child labor and prostitution. Education must be stressed and supported by international efforts, especially by nations who benefit from trade with Cambodia.

Cambodia itself however will ultimately be responsible for creating the positive changes within its government to make any of this possible. The legacy of dictatorship and genocide must be overcome through a constant effort to weed out corruption. But most importantly, Cambodia's government must must be forced toward a realization that without healthy and full-filling childhoods for the children of Cambodia the country itself will never prosper.

Source Documents

(Note: not all listed.)

Asia Times Online

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Southeast_Asia/MF22Ae01.html

No-Trafficking.org 

http://www.no-trafficking.org/content/web/05reading_rooms/Cambodia/cambodia_hr_report_on_trafficking.pdf

ECPAT Cambodia

http://www.ecpatcambodia.org/index.php

HumanTrafficking.org 

http://www.humantrafficking.org/countries/cambodia

Other Blogs

http://eleanorherzog.wordpress.com/2011/06/02/breaking-barriers-to-girls%E2%80%99-education-in-the-developing-world/

http://suasdeicambodia.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/child-prostitution-cambodias-dark-epedemic/

Sex and Football

 

              There are more slaves today than ever before in history. Believe it? Most do not.

In America, we are motivated and shaped by fear. In 2012, the world was supposed to end three different times. We worry and stockpile, produce end-of-the-world prepper reality TV shows, and give all of our attention to the media pumping out reports on the fiscal cliff and small arms bans. When we read and watch these things, we get hit by a wave of anxiety. But when it comes to the face of modern slavery, there are many people who would rather believe it doesn’t exists. In fact, there has been heated debate about whether or not it actually exists. After all, we have enough things to worry about, right?

On November 16, 2011, Nicholas D. Kristof published and article titled The Face of Modern Slavery in The New York Time Opinion Pages. In this article, Kristof hints towards the disbelieving attitude of the American public. Ignoring this, he tells the story of Strey Pov who was sold by her family at six years-old to a Cambodian brothel. Knowing nothing about sex, she was soon bought and raped by Western men.

Western men? That’s us. That’s the Americans--the people that don’t believe that human trafficking exists. Yet, we are the demand in supply and demand. A retired U.S. Schoolteacher openly spoke out about his experience with sex tourism. “On this trip I’ve had sex with a 14 year old girl in Mexico and a 15 year old in Columbia. I am helping them financially. If they don’t have sex with me, they may not have enough food. If someone has a problem with me doing this, let UNICEF feed them.”

But it isn’t just retired old man taking these trips. Recently, the FBI released reports of their investigation on New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. In the reports, they cover details of several trips he made in August 2012 to the Dominican Republic with his friend, campaign contributor, and Miami eye doctor, Salomon Melgen.  On these trips, the men had sex with Dominican prostitutes as young as sixteen--girls bought and sold into the sex industry. Not only did Menendez violate the senate’s code of ethics, but he may have broken federal campaign finance laws. It is important to note that the age of consent in the Dominican Republic is 18, but even so The PROTECT Act, a law passed in 2003, made it a federal crime for Americans to engage in sex for money with anyone under the age of 18, even in countries where the age of consent is lower. The Senator denies these accusations, saying, “Any allegations of engaging with prostitutes are manufactured by a politically-motivated right-wing blog and are false.”

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez under investigation for having sex with minors in Dominican Republic.

American men justify their “vacations” under the lie that the young women and girls in these brothels are there voluntarily, but it isn’t so. Many survivors that have managed to escape from the brothels speak of torture if they do not simply give in and hand their bodies and virginity over. Even if they could escape, where would they turn? Where could they ever find acceptance and a normal life? Many leaders in these organized crime rings have the girls’ information; know if they have children, and who they love most in the world. If they don’t comply, they threaten to kill those the women cherish most in the world.

But human trafficking does not only exist outside the United States. Jessica Ford, an escaped victim, testified against five men who kidnapped her and forced her into the industry. These men controlled one of the biggest sex traffic rings in Dallas, Texas. Evidence revealed that the men kidnapped girls as young as 16 and advertised them on the internet for sex. If the women did not comply, or were caught trying to escape, they were beaten.

Adds for an "escort' uses code words such as 'young', 'fresh', and 'innocent' to advertise minors for sex.

Other pimps sell their girls on websites like backpages.com, where girls are as young as eleven or twelve. Of course, the girls are warned to lie about their age, but many have testified that the men they are purchased by never ask questions anyway.

In Toledo, Ohio, Kimberly(not her real name) was only a teenager when she was kidnapped off the streets and forced into prostitution. She tells a hair-raising story of how a man in a car pulled up to her and her friends. “He did his research.” She says, “Finds girls that he likes and finds out your name and all sorts of stuff.” Mistaking the man for the father of a friend, she got into the car with the man. After 11 days of being forced to have sex with strange men, Kimberly was rescued when a trucker noticed her at a truck stop. Hear her tell her story in this video.

I recently met a woman I will call Betty who dances at a strip club here in Indiana. Dancing is not the life she wanted. Growing up without parents or a real, true home, Betty got tangled up with a man whom she married at 17. Betty’s husband fell into drugs and sent her out to work as a dancer in order to support his drug habit. But even local strip clubs are not all that they seem. Many girls learn they can perform sexual favors, or allow sexual favors to be preformed on them, for extra money. In desperate need to bring in a certain sum, many dancers give in. This kind of behavior leads the girls into alcohol and drug abuse just to get through what they need to do. Because of this, Betty was soon addicted to drugs and now had to support two addictions. To meet the needs, her husband began pimping her out as a prostitute. Betty had nowhere else to go. By now, she had a baby. In an effort to keep her baby fed and clothed, in a home and relatively safe from harm, Betty found herself in bondage.

In an article titled Human Trafficking : Modern-Day Slavery in America, the author Phillip Martin cites: 

About 18,000 people are trafficked to the U.S. each year, according to the State Department. What do they have in common? Most are indebted to smugglers and traffickers. According to the Polaris Project, a national anti-human trafficking group, victims have also been pressed to work in factories, farms, strip clubs, begging and peddling rings and as domestic workers--for little or no money.

This is not another country’s problem. This is a global problem. The most frightening part about this issue is that the United States, our land of freedom, fuels and feeds it. The biggest culprit, knowingly or not: The NFL. Skeptical? The 2010 Super Bowl estimated 10,000 sex workers brought in to Miami, while the 2011 event reaped around 133 prostitution-related arrests. 

On February 3, 1013, Super Bowl XLVII will be hosted at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana. At 6:30 EST time, most households will tune in to see the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers face off. What we will not see is the trafficking of young girls and boys, men and women, being sold off for the sexual pleasure of others. Already, the seedy underbelly and even the classy streets of the bayou are being prepped for the buying and receiving of sexual pleasure.

On the streets of New Orleans, men prepare for the onslaught of customers the Super Bowl will bring in.

I’m not sure why so many American men eagerly exploit the abuse of women and children. My bet is on the rise of the porn industry and our sex-saturated culture. A man walks into a strip club and figures the girl dancing in front of him is there by choice, and sometimes they are. But he never questions if she might be owned by a pimp or abusive boyfriend, sending her to dance and perform sexual favors to rake in as much cash as she can. Instead, he enjoys instant gratification with little guilt. A man might feel at ease picking up a hooker on the street corner because, after all, she’s standing there offering and he has the money. But there are never any guarantees that the women are not girls, taken from outside their homes, faced with a beating if they do not comply and walk the streets.

So what can you do about it?

Get educated. Know what human trafficking is: the illegal trade of human beings mainly for the purpose of commercial sex exploitation or forced labor.

~Read up on articles written by advocates trying to shed a light on the issue.

~Don’t judge a woman that has found a way out. Help her find a new life.

~If you suspect trafficking in your area, tip off police.

~Spread the word.


~Teach your children the signs and dangers of predators.

~Scream for those who cannot.

~Most importantly, vow not to purchase a woman/girl. Ever. Not off the street. Not in a strip club. Be  a person of integrity.

Education Resources:

The White Umbrella Campaign
The A21 Campaign
Not For Sale Campaign
End It Movement
Blue Heart Campaign

Or, please share this video on you social media pages.



~Gia

Yum, Yum

Preying On The Innocent
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

 (Sex Slaves in Cambodia, Ages Unknown)

It is the personal opinion of the author of this article that people who trade in or purchase the sexual services of anyone under the age of consent should face the possibility of the death penalty. With that said, please read the rest of this article.

In Cambodia children as young as 6 years old can be readily purchased by the hour by sexual deviants from the moment they step off the plane. If the pedophile knows where to look, has done his/her research online, they can often spot the signs of a pimp. These peddlers of innocents lost will openly start up the conversation if the sex tourist gives any sign that they are interested. Boys, girls... nothing is sacred in this perverted industry. No age is off limits. If the child can walk, there is a pervert ready to take advantage of Cambodia's most neglected commodity. 

The organization "Save the Children" estimates that as many as 50 to 100 thousand children and young women are subject to sexual slavery within Cambodia. This number is most likely far lower than the actual number of sexual slaves within the country. Mainly due to the growing sex tourism industry within Southeast Asia. A region where sexual predators can spend half the money as they would back home on prostitutes half the age. 

The growing crime has become the subject of intense international scrutiny. However with many outside governments unwilling to part with the notion of "national sovereignty" when dealing with blatant human rights violations... the trade continues to grow disproportionately to the rest of the economy. Instead of imposing the same sanctions we would apply for genocide upon a country the rest of the world has decided to look the other way when dealing with human trafficking and child prostitution. 

"The Svay Pak brothel area outside Phnom Penh, where children are exploited in the sex trade, continues to operate despite numerous attempts by police to close it down." United States State Department Human Trafficking Report 2012.

When sexual slavery within Cambodia becomes less profitable for the Cambodian pimps the children are often sent across borders into Vietnam, Thailand, and even over waters to Malaysia. The exploitation of Cambodian children has become such a problem that tourist visiting Cambodia for nonsexual reasons can easily spot government sponsored posters, commercials, and billboards warning about the very issue. Yet the actual prosecution of pedophiles traveling to Cambodia for sex is rare. 

In the sparse cases of criminal prosecution of "johns" the Cambodian government has shown that it has the ability to be tough on sexual predators. Yet in other cases, such as Dr. James D'Agostino, it also appears that prosecutors in Cambodia are able to achieve convictions without much evidence only so that the government can save face with the outside world. The actual ability of the government in Phnom Penh to achieve consistency in attacking this criminal enterprise is often seen as weak if not impossible to gauge. 

 "Within the country, Cambodian and ethnic Vietnamese women and girls are trafficked from rural areas to Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, Poipet, Koh Kong, and Sihanoukville for commercial sexual exploitation. The sale of virgin girls continues to be a serious problem in Cambodia." United States State Department Human Trafficking Report 2012.

Poverty continues to be the driving factor in human trafficking throughout Southeast Asia. Being one of the poorest countries, only ahead of Laos, in the region has left Cambodians exceptionally vulnerable to this crime. Parents in Cambodia often are known to sell their children to traffickers under the promise of a better life by the predators. Other children are often put out to the streets to beg where they are lured or kidnapped and put into the sex trade.

A more disgusting part of the sex trade in Cambodia is fueled by the Khmer belief that having sex with a virgin will somehow endow the man with virility and other desirable masculine traits. This superstition continues to drive a disturbing number of Cambodian men to the sex trade. There they can readily find girls from the age 6 and up. And for most of these homegrown pedophiles the "virgin" is often a young girl who has been sold time and time again.

(Victim of Cambodia's "Sex Tourism" Industry)

No child should ever have to live this way. No human being should ever be bought or sold. This is not a simple matter of human rights. This is the fight to end the trade that spawned our understanding of the most fundamental of all human rights... Freedom. 

All people, of all ages, has the right from their first breath to a life free of fear. We are born into this life with the desire for it. We are born with the passion to preserve it. We are born to need it. Freedom is not a right we can deny to one and grant to another. As long as even one of us is left in slavery, none of us are truly free. 

In this spirit the world should offer Cambodia clear cut ways to end this crime against humanity.

First Cambodia needs to investigate and prosecute government officials complicit in human trafficking. It is painfully obvious when one looks at the "red light" districts of Southeast Asia that police are more than willing to look the other way. For this reason it should be standard practice of all state and federal authorities that any officer, politician, or judge willing to look the other way should face harsher sentences than even the "johns" themselves. We are not talking about just prostitutes and johns anyway. We are talking about modern day slavery. 

As for the pimps, Cambodia should create a registry with every arrest in which the slave driver is recorded. It is my own opinion that there is theoretically no sentence to harsh for these wretched souls. But in reality Cambodia should strengthen the sentences already in place while confiscating the property and money which the slave holder has made from this trade. The property should be sold and the money should be given those now responsible for the safety of the exploited children. 

As for the "johns"... again, it is my personal view that death is as befitting a punishment as any for these individuals. In reality Cambodia should use the most extreme punishment their penal system has to offer. The sentence should be as long as they government is willing to make it. And the johns from other countries should be sent to their country of origin only if the crime is punished harsher than it would be within Cambodia. 

We can not afford to take baby steps in our fight to end human trafficking. We spent far to long arguing the last time we fought slavery. It is time now to end this form of it. It is time that we show those who would exploit our next generation that we as a world community stand united in our desire to rid ourselves of slavery in all forms. Especially when it devastates our children... our hope... our innocents.

Stop Selling Our Hope

The Prostitution Of Our Next Generation
(Part of the Lost Childhood series)

(Every Year That Number Keeps Going Up)

On September 22nd, 1862 a great man stood before American and gave a proclamation that would set forth the framework to make certain that slavery would forever be abolished on American soil. It was with this speech that President Abraham Lincoln declared all slaves held captive on American soil free. Today slavery has spread to every state in the Union. Women, boys, and girls still to this day work in bondage to cruel slave owners who profit from the exploitation of these indentured souls.

The cause or reason for the enslavement of these victims varies with every given case of it. However the main purpose of many slaves taken from the American population or those brought into the United States is to service the sex trade. Women and children alike are abused sexually and physically to keep them in this trade. And for the most unfortunate of them, when they outlive their use they can face death at the hands of their captors.

In San Diego the number of human trafficking cases reported to the authorities has nearly tripled since 2011. Over the past two years in San Diego the number of human trafficking victims has risen to 1,277 individuals. That translates to around 638 victims each year... a number that is rising at alarming rates with every passing year. And it isn't just San Diego or the West Coast that is seeing this dramatic increase in human trafficking cases. These numbers can be seen rising sharply across the United States.

What is even more shocking is that in spite of the average 50,000 plus victims brought into the country to serve as slaves a surprising 72% of the victims in San Diego were American citizens.

When it comes to human trafficking involving child prostitution statistics show that the average entry of girls into the sex trade in America is only 12 years old. In Los Angeles these young girls are more often these days coming out of the foster care system (statistics show that as many as 70%). Others often suffer sexual or physical abuse at home and turn to pimps and human traffickers to escape... a mistake that ends in their enslavement.

So why is it that Americans are so unaware of this horrific violation of these victims' basic human rights?

Child sex trafficking is rarely discussed on major media outlets due to its taboos. Yet as more and more of our nation's future is sold off to pedophiles this illegal trade grows. The sex trafficking of children is now estimated to be the third largest and most organized criminal enterprise in the United States (and around the world). The people responsible for the growth of this industry have found that the sale of children is easy and without much risk.

In almost every state the risk of the sex trade nearly always falls on the victim. When a prostitute over the age of consent is caught she is rightfully prosecuted for the crime of prostitution. However when a child is caught, after being turned out by their pimp, the same system prosecutes the child. Instead of going after the pimp the system targets the victim... who has no ability to agree to sex in the first place.

If more of society would accept that the child is the victim and deserves our protection rather than our wrath as a society we might actually be able to stop this crime. As a society we must demand that the child be spared the punishment of a court sentencing and offered a safe haven. And as a culture we must address the reasons why these innocent children were turned out to the streets in the first place.

It is no secret that in America today that sex is a major part of the pop culture. But to blame that is an easy way out. The real threat to these children is how their predators view them in the first place.

"Throwaway Children"

This is how human traffickers view their victims. This is how these predators view their targets. And more indicatively, this is how American society views the victims of this disgusting crime.

We must demand that the systems we already have in place, such as foster care, be better managed and scrutinized. We must demand that our courts alter the way they view children arrested on the charge of prostitution. We need to also demand that our courts raise heavier sentences on those who prey upon our youth (in New Jersey a man got only 10 years for this crime on November 14th) and use them as slaves in this degrading trade. But most of all, we need to stop looking at these children in much the same way as the predators who target them in the first place.