Opting Out

Homosexual Teens And Prejudices In America

This post contains opinions that may be considered offensive to some readers on the basis of religious sensitivities. We make no attempt to hide the role that religious bias plays in this subject. With that said we have made no attempt either not offend any given religion or to target any given religion. Please read with an open mind and remain open to thinking critically about how our religious beliefs play a role in the subject discussed below. 

Thank you, from all of us here at Alder's Ledge.

The Path From Bullying To Opting Out 

There are many reasons that children target one another for bullying. Just looking different can cause a child to become the victim of bullying. The affects of bullying regardless of the reason for it are clear. Children who are bullied have a higher rate of suicide, they suffer depression, become anxious, and can become withdrawn. All of these highlight the isolation that bullying can create for it's victims. 

When left unhindered the symptoms of bullying can create emotional and mental issues that can take years to recover from. For some the scars left from bullying can become so incredibly painful that they seek more permanent ways of dealing with them. For these children the path from bullying can lead them to choosing ways of ending the pain once and for all. 

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in Americans between the age of 15-24 years of age (according to the CDC). On average there are 4,400 children in America who commit suicide each year. In a recent survey of high school aged American children an alarming 14% admitted to having contemplated suicide and 7% admitted to having attempted it before. In a study by Yale University it was noted that children who are victims of bullying are up to nine times more likely to consider suicide. For children suffering from bullying suicide is a last resort to ending the pain.

In the popular HBO series "The Walking Dead", in a world where the characters are surrounded by suffering daily, the act of committing suicide was called "opting out". This callous way of describing the last act of desperate souls best illustrates how society as a whole views those who turn to suicide. They are not seen as having lost hope but rather often portrayed as being cowards. 

This harsh view of suicide only serves to add insult to injury. The life that is lost in this, the most desperate of acts, cannot be returned. Every decision that individual would have made for the rest of their lives is decided in one horrific act. All they had to give the world, all the blessings they had to bestow upon others, and all their future joy is erased with just one act. But it isn't cowardly at all... it is just plain desperate.

For these individuals the pleas they made were sadly left unanswered (4 out of 5 who do commit suicide gave clear warning signs). For these; the rejected, the helpless, the downtrodden, there isn't a better tomorrow. They are simply gone... dead to a world that would not help them. 

Homosexual teens in America have recently received more attention when the subjects of bullying and suicide come up.

"Gay Iowa Teen Commits Suicide, Was Allegedly Bullied By Classmates"

~ Huffington Post 7/29/13

"Gay New Mexico Teen Commits Suicide After Years Of Bullying"

~ Advocate.com 7/16/13

"Another Bullied Gay Teen Commits Suicide"

~ Salon 1/30/13

For some the media attention to this year's rash of suicides amongst homosexual teens was seen as a media ploy. The conservative right tried to write it off as a method of the left to capitalize upon the deaths of children to push politics when talking about marriage equality. And for both sides, the callousness with which they viewed these deaths once again reflected the heartlessness that HBO showed in nicknaming the act "opting out". 

Far too little effort has been made in trying to understand how we can help stop these children from taking their own lives. We have for far too long only offered our condolences to the families they leave behind. And yet the solution to the crisis seems so simple it is painful to ignore. 

Answering Their Cries

Children who are being bullied show warning signs just like those who are contemplating suicide. There are moments where a parent or guardian should be able to spot these signs. All it takes is the effort to understand where your child is coming from and the courage to step in. For some the second part is the hardest of all. There is a fear that your child will resent you or the fact that you are perceived to be interfering. Yet once you have identified your child's suffering you must then ask yourself how can you not intervene?

In cases where a child is being bullied the following symptoms may appear (not always):

• becoming withdrawn
• becoming anxious about social interactions
• wanting to skip school without being sick
• signs of depression 
• a decline in school performance 
• a noticeable decline in self-esteem 
• signs of physical assault, such as bruises or cuts

If these signs appear it is best to be persistent in your attempts to figure out why your child is displaying any of these symptoms. Some children may want to hide the fact they are being bullied. It is the duty of any adult that thinks a child is being bullied to intervene and stop the abuse immediately. For parents of children who have been bullied it is even more important to be vigilant against future incidents since bullying rarely ends after one incident.

For children who are contemplating suicide there are also signs that must be addressed once identified. It is important to remember that 4 out of 5 children who commit suicide will display clear warning signs, like the ones listed below:

• trouble sleeping or eating
• becoming increasingly withdrawn
• signs of depression
• losing interest in hobbies or activities 
• giving away favorite possessions
• saying goodbye to friends or family 
• expressing that they can't handle things anymore
• engaging in self harm or dangerous behaviors
• increased interest in death or dying 
• and past attempts at committing suicide 

Though many children will attempt suicide (one study indicated 14% of children in America between grades 7-12) only a portion of those will manage to kill themselves. For children who attempt suicide there is an increased risk of repeating the attempt again if the base problems are not addressed. This is why when bullying is related to the attempt it is ever increasingly important that the bullying itself be dealt with stringently.

For homosexual teens who become suicidal the bullying can also come from sources outside the school system. 

 Bullies In Faith And Family

Growing up many of us here at Alder's Ledge were exposed to several influences that openly portrayed homosexuality as morally wrong. Whether it was through Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or for some of us an officially atheist state mantra; these influences were put in place from the moment we were able to comprehend what it meant to be "normal". The church (or the state) told us that we were meant to pair off with one member from either sex and create more empty minds for their congregations. That is just plain and simple how the cycle of indoctrination is supposed to work. You are supposed to be born into the system and live by it. 

Over the years we each broke free from the framework that either G-d or country decided for us. For our Chinese members this was harder for the rest of us. But for those of us in the West it wasn't exactly easy either. In both cases it took a moment of rebellion... a moment where our eyes came open and our hearts finally began to beat. 

For one of our members the moment of realization that a relationship with G-d didn't mean having to forgo a relationship with their fellow man came rather recently. For another it was a moment that came from getting "gay bashed" even though he wasn't gay. And for the most tenderhearted member of Alder's Ledge it came from simply watching people... just watching and learning what love meant.

We can't express why our given faiths tried to teach us to look down upon another person simply because of who they loved. For many of us it took years to rationalize our religion with our views of our fellow man. But in the end we all came to one conclusion... whether it be society or our religions, the prejudices against homosexuality are unbearable.

That is why we decided to highlight this subject. The facts about this subject may not pertain to genocide (yet in some cases they do). But they do speak to the human rights issues that Americans and the rest of the world tend to overlook. And one of those happens to be the treatment of homosexuals as second class citizens.

This is only further complicated by the troubles homosexuals have to face when dealing with their family and individual faiths.

It is reported that nearly half of all gay males face negative parental reactions when coming out as homosexual. Of these nearly one quarter of them face being thrown out of their parents' homes as a result of openly admitting their sexuality. This contributes to studies that have indicated that anywhere from between 25 to 50 percent of homeless youth are homosexual or transgendered.

For many homosexual youths the reality of remaining "in the closet", or not admitting their sexuality to their parents, is something they will live with well into their adult years. Fear of rejection is only more so amplified by the fact the person they fear it from is their own parent.

As for faith...

Christianity in America, more often than not, cast homosexuality onto a long list of sins. Though the Bible tells Christians that they are not allowed to judge others (and that only G-d is supposed to) this classification opens up homosexuals to increased prejudice from the church. It allows for pastors (priest, fathers, or whatever else they might be called) to scrutinize the sexual orientation of certain members. Not only that, but the scolding is delivered from a pulpit in front of friends, neighbors, and family.

Islam on the other hand makes no attempt to hide it's condemnation of homosexuality but permits the given authorities the right to punish it as they see fit. This is one of the leading reasons why governments like Iran are able to openly kill homosexuals without much condemnation by Muslims across the world. While the religion of peace should be opposing the excessive abuses committed against homosexuals across conservative Muslim countries there is an eerie silence over the mouths of the faithful.

Judaism on the other hand has a far more hypocritical stance when it comes to homosexuality. We tend to portray ourselves as the open-minded branch of the Abrahamic faiths and yet strong prejudices against gays still exists. Beneath a facade of being "liberal", Jews across the world still tend to isolate homosexuals through the same practices seen in any other religion. So while we may lie and say we accept our gay brothers and sisters... we are just as vile perpetrators of prejudices against them as any other. The main difference is that we are lying to their faces while we do it.

Religion should never be wielded like a sword. The jihad (inner struggle) to accept that which we cannot change should not drive us to an outward struggle. We are to treat our fellow man as we wish ourselves to be treated. This is the greatest sign of maturity in our faiths. It is the one and true way to show the love that G-d first showed to us (even when we did not deserve it).

Most of us at Alder's Ledge do not view homosexuality as a sin. Those who do believe that they cannot judge someone else for sinning differently than they do. The main point, however, is that we had to break with the established views of our faiths to be able to embrace, in love, those G-d has given us. And that is something that needs to change.

The faiths we embrace should not need to be rebelled against to allow us to express the love they claim to embody. The masses that make up these faiths should be fighting against the prejudices they have helped to sow in our societies. They should be a place for people to turn to not be afraid of because of, or hate due to, the way they have treated them.

When a child is bullied due to their sexuality there are two things they should be able to turn to for comfort; their family and their faith. If these two things are left off the table then why do we expect society to fix the mess these two created? The family that cast them out to the wolves and the religion that rejected them are as much to blame as the bully itself. The contributions these two have made to the ongoing prejudice cannot be ignored.

Love may not fix everything.

But what better place to start?

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Source Documents

(note: not all sources listed)

Bullying Statistics 

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/gay-bullying-statistics.html

Kid's Health

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/suicide.html

The Jason Foundation 

http://jasonfoundation.com/prp/facts/youth-suicide-statistics/

PFLAG

http://www.pflagnyc.org/safeschools/statistics

Behind The Pink Triangle

Lessons For Russia

Deviants?

In a society based on the rigid moral standards of a maniacal leader almost everything is considered deviant. The simple act of thinking for yourself, deciding for yourself between right and wrong, is considered an act of deviancy. There is no room for free thinkers once a society decides to conform to the obdurate views of the unstable leadership it allows to take control. Every sense of freedom becomes hidebound to the dim reality fascism brings onto it's citizenry. Once in place, there are no cracks through which it's victims can escape. 

For the homosexual population of Nazi occupied Europe this rigid conformity of the masses began the slow walk into darkness. Neighbors, relatives, old coworkers... anyone and everyone could trade their gay acquaintances in for even the smallest token of favor from the new masters of Europe. The jackboots were now marching in the streets and the gestapo was out for the "sexual deviants" of Europe. 

Over the course of the Third Reich an estimated 100,000+ gay men and women were imprisoned and persecuted for their sexuality. They were put into work camps designed to bring about a slow and painful death. Around 15,000 were sent to death camps were they were adorned with a pink triangle and the number that replaced their identity, their name, and their previous life. Around 60 percent of those who were imprisoned and/or sent away to concentration camps would not survive the Holocaust. For these unfortunate souls their only crime for which they would die would be that of who they loved.

But who was the deviant in all reality? Was it the man or woman who was born different from the others? Was it the homosexual who found love in a way different than the prescribed method of society? Or was it the society which turned upon their own and sacrificed those they deemed different to the flames?

In the end, for that 60 percent that fell to the sins of conformity, it didn't matter exactly who was the deviant and who wasn't. The price they paid was greater than any that society would pay during or after the war. For the sin of silence, for the sin of complacency, for the sin of hate... those who were sacrificed to the insanity of one man's delusions and the hate of a complacent country could not, nor can not today, be brought back. They paid with their lives for a crime they did not commit. 

Behind The Pink Triangle

The crimes that were committed during the Holocaust against the homosexual community in Europe didn't occur overnight. Long held political and religious beliefs had paved the way for Hitler's orders to execute the gay citizenry of Europe. A German public had lived with and supported laws that had long oppressed the sexuality of their neighbors. 

In 1871 The Penal code is established in Germany and it's occupied territories. This harsh set of laws dictated most any moral codes of conduct that society could imagine. However it is paragraph 175 that would establish a legal precedent in Germany for the legal persecution of homosexuals. In no uncertain terms the paragraph made all sexual acts between males illegal and punishable in Germany's courts. The legal framework for governmental persecution of homosexuality was established in the Second Reich. 

From this point forward the homosexuals of Germany would enjoy only brief moments of "lesser" persecution as the German society pushed it's heel on their backs. Though gay members of society could find some places in Germany to meet and enjoy the facade of liberty in the early 1900s the storm clouds were gathering. The "Great War" saw Germany entering a hellish depression and a renewed religious fervency. Like the Jews and Roma, gays were targeted for persecution with every downturn in German society. 

With the rise of Nazism the roadwork for Hitler's persecution began to be relayed. During this time the government of Germany dug back to down to the Kaiser's sins and breathed new life into perverse laws. In 1932 Berlin began to crackdown on gays in the city. A new fervor was seen in Berlin as police and city leaders sought out gay bars and meeting places. The old morality laws were back in affect as the year came to a close. 

As 1933 opens the German people are introduced to their new leader, their fuhrer, Adolf Hitler. The Nazi party is declared the only legal party and is thus in complete control of the country. German society has surrendered it's freedoms, its liberties, and it's minorities to the insanity of a madman and his henchmen. For those trapped inside the country there is no end to the downward spiral their country is now taking. Yet the devil in charge has promised them the world. And for a short period of time, it almost appears that Hitler can give it to them. 

For the homosexuals the reality of what awaits them in Germany is made clear on May 10th, 1933. A collection of books and documents stolen from the ransacked offices of the Institute for Sexual Science are burned by the SA and Nazi supporters in Berlin. The reason for this book burning isn't that the books are Jewish or Communist. The reason these books are being burnt is because they are deemed unclean due to the "sexually deviant" nature of the institute from which they came. Though the doctor who ran the Institute for Sexual Science was a gay Jew, the homosexual threat was the main reason for their burning. For the homosexuals of Berlin, this book burning was their first warning... Hitler was coming for them. 

Less than a month later, June 8th, two homosexual rights organizations are outlawed. Their members and leaders are recorded as the Gestapo takes the names off any and all collected documents. Gays in Berlin rapidly respond by simply disappearing into the masses. However the hope of hiding and waiting out the Nazi government are short lived. 

During the "Night of the Long Knives" Hitler takes the opportunity to not only destroy the SA and replace it with the SS but also orders all homosexuals to be thrown out of the military. Several SA officers and members are charged with being homosexuals when nothing else can be found to charge them with. Though these charges were most likely false, these members of the SA are not imprisoned but rather are shot. Hitler's message to the gay community in Germany is now perfectly clear to all... they are not going to be simply jailed, they are to be killed. 

As for Ernst Roehm, the SA chief, the charges of homosexuality are not false. From 1930 the position of SA Chief Roehm in the Nazi party had been a signal of false hope to the gay community in Germany. Though the homosexual community could still expect plenty of harassment and even jail terms they had not expected what would happen next. Roehm was charged with plots to overthrow Hitler along with homosexuality. On June 30th Roehm becomes a victim of the party he had fought to help establish. SS members execute Ernst Roehm for sedition and homosexuality. 

On July 13th Hitler declares himself the sole judge in Germany and that the SS would from that point forward act as his personal police force. With this the message is sent out across the country that a gay member of the SA had been executed. There would be no quarter given to the homosexuals that were now locked inside German borders. 

By the time October rolled around the SS were actively seeking out homosexuals across Germany. Himmler ordered large roundups of gays regardless of gender under the morality laws, paragraph 175. Those who were caught up in Himmler's dragnet were imprisoned, tortured, and interrogated in hopes of getting more homosexuals' names.

For the next two years mass roundups continued without relent. What had started out as a couple hundred arrests rapidly grew into the thousands. Hitler and Himmler were on a quest to rid Germany of the "sexual deviants" and preserve the "sexual purity" of the German race. For those caught in their scheme there was no hope in sight. 

In 1935 Himmler sent out an order that promised freedom to all homosexual males who would willingly subject themselves to castration as a "cure" for their  "degenerate sexual drive". Sadly for the homosexuals who had been in inhumane jail conditions (for some, years) this promise was too good to pass up. Having been brutally operated on by Nazi doctors the victims subjected themselves to experimental surgeries. Those who did not die from the neglectful treatment of the Nazi doctors and castration itself were given a mock release. Once given the hope of freedom, the castrated victims were rearrested and thrown back into the prisons from which they had been released. 

This sadistic treatment of homosexuals in Germany's new legal system would continue as the homosexuals in SS custody continued to be held without any sign of true release. For years their lives would hang in the balance as the German people ignored the plight of gay men and women across their country. Those who did speak out often faced false charges of homosexuality and were therefore thrown into the same jails where gays died from sustained abuses and neglect to their well-being.

On October 10th, 1936 just two years after Himmler took control of the Nazi roundups of gay men and women, the leader of the SS forms the Reich Central Office for Combating Homosexuality and Abortion. This central office will allow the SS and Gestapo to compile complete lists of gays in cities and villages across Germany. From Berlin the Gestapo can monitor the arrests of gays throughout Nazi controlled Europe. They can send out demands for increased pressure on gays in any area at any time as the Nazi leaders envision threats under every rock. 

During July of 1940 Himmler cleans out the German jails of homosexual prisoners by declaring that all gays in Germany and occupied lands can be sent directly to concentration camps. In true bureaucratic fashion, the SS develop the pink triangle to fit into their numerical death machine. The homosexual community across Europe are now set to join the ranks of the Holocaust victims. 

"Work Will Set You Free"

Throughout the Holocaust homosexual prisoners were often targeted for extremely brutal punishment by camp leaders and SS camp guards. Abuses were numerous and often left up to the camp leaders themselves. The one thing every camp had in common was the use of force labor designed to bring about death through exhaustion. 

Gay camp prisoners were made to work some of the most brutal and barbaric camp task. They were made to haul stones, carry boulders, and do meaningless task designed to weaken the victims. To the SS this was meant to break the "homosexual spirit" by applying the "extermination through work program". 

Failing to do a task, no matter how menial the task might be, often led to sadistic punishments. SS leaders often enjoyed taking gay prisoners to the "singing forests" in large camps. There, on tall poles, the homosexual victim bound with their hands and feet chained behind their body. Suspended in the air from the tall pole the victim's arms would be pulled upward and behind their torso. This would cause serious injuries to the joints and shoulders of the prisoner as they screamed out in torment... thus giving the name to this form of torture. 

Other gay victims would be subjected to barbaric castrations as a "cure" for their "sexual disease". Nazi doctors and SS soldiers used knives, scissors, and veterinary tools to remove the testicles of their victim. Without medicine for the pain or impending infections, the victim was at risk or bleeding to death and/or succumbing to deadly infections from the sadistic genital mutilation.

More serious forms of punishment for homosexual prisoners were often performed in front of the rest of the camp inhabitants. Roll call would often be called when a homosexual prisoner/s would face execution. These brutal acts of violence were used to deter any and all acts of defiance by the gay prisoners. These executions were also used to punish homosexuals after one of their fellow prisoners had run into the electrical wire to commit suicide. In this aspect executions of homosexuals could be seen at times as collective punishment for both their mere existence and their persistent will to live.

In addition to work, beatings, torture, harassment by fellow inmates, degradation of all forms, and outright slaughter; many homosexual prisoners also had to face twisted medical experiments. SS doctors were given full reign in their quest to find a cure for the homosexual in German society. These experiments included the usual castrations and genital mutilations. However they also included lobotomies, shock therapy, chemical injections, and hormone injections. Prisoners who were experimented on clearly had no hope of ever being cured. And therefore once they were found to be incurable they were executed. 

Free At Last?

The German people were slow at recognizing the sins they had committed against the Jews... the Roma... the Poles. A generation of Germans would pass away without ever really having to face the crimes they forced upon the world around them. Their hands had forged the worst atrocities that Europe had ever seen. Their hatred had destroyed the lives of millions upon millions. And yet the German people were allowed to remain silent for far too long. 

For the gay victims of the Holocaust this silence felt like it could not be broken. For all the screams that had been released in those dark hellish camps, for all the suffering that had been brought upon them... the silence threatened to mask their pain. For nearly 60 years the homosexual victims of the Holocaust watched as the world ignored their stories. 

Many of those who survived decided to go back into hiding. The same method that had failed them during Hitler's reign now showed to be their only hope. The laws that had sent them to the camps were still in place when the Third Reich collapsed. Paragraph 175 clung to the books as the victims of its existence stepped out from behind prison gates. 

In December of 2000 the German government finally admitted that it had continued to use Paragraph 175 even after 1949. It was the first time that Germany had admitted that homosexuals had been victims of the Third Reich. However it wasn't until May of 2002 that the German government decided to finally pardon all homosexuals who had been convicted, tortured, and/or killed by the Nazis and German government. 

But what were they pardoned for? Who in this long history of horrific human rights abuses and genocide was the deviant? The man/woman who simply loved differently than the rest or the state and society which bore the ability to hate those they didn't understand or care to love? 

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